‘We have to say no to our daughter so often’
Cynthia Akkerman (31) and Willem Jonker (34) have been through a lot in the seventeen years they have been together. He left his parental home as a teenager and had to get rid of a weed addiction through Jellinek. They had a miscarriage, a molar pregnancy (see box) and two premature births that fortunately ended well. Haven’t had a home for a long time and lived with relatives.
Shortly after they received the keys to their current apartment in Amsterdam North, both lost their income. “We could write a whole book,” laughs Akkerman, despite the fact that everything remains positive. “Some people would have been separated for a long time, but it has made us stronger. We know what we can take.”
They got to know each other through mutual friends and MSN – the Whatsapp of the 2000s. She was 14 and he was 17 when they met in ‘the shopping centre’, the Buikslotermeerplein in Noord. A day later they were dating.
Apartment in North
They now live in a new apartment in the same neighborhood with their 7-year-old daughter and seven-month-old son. It is a free sector house, and actually well above budget. They thought it was just about being able to afford it, with two incomes. Akkerman has an MBO diploma in Care and Welfare, and worked in elderly care and home care; Jonker worked at social work company Pantar.
But the day after they got their keys, the first corona lockdown started. Jonker lost his job and Akkerman was just between jobs when she became pregnant again. “I received the response to many job applications: sorry, we don’t take any chances with pregnant women. I was just discriminated against.” She applied for a benefit, but the debts – in combination with her student debt – had risen to more than 70,000 euros. “The money probably just ran out. I didn’t dare to post anymore, we were in a kind of depression. So I handed over everything.” They are under protective administration and awaiting debt restructuring.
A learning process
In the beginning they had a hard time with it, Akkerman admits. “I always say: everything that happens in your life is a learning process. Look, we were the best big publishers. Now we are learning to be frugal, so that when we manage our money again, we will handle it better.”
They do find the most difficult thing is that their daughter also notices the money problems. “She is already thinking about money,” says Jonker. “I once gave her 10 euros. When they came out: if I buy this craft kit, I’ll enjoy it longer than one doll that goes to waste. That breaks my heart. A child just has to be kind.”
Among other things, Akkerman works one day a week in a nursing home. “Care is my passion. Mainly because of the oldies; the stories they tell, about how they used to play outside, go to the bathhouse, war stories. You learn so much from that. They didn’t have much either.” They would like to work more, but on the advice of the administrator it remains invisible.
Receiver
In fact, tenants in the free sector do not receive a rent allowance, but their administrator has made an arrangement. That subsidy expires if she starts working more, which would leave them with less money at the bottom. “It sounds crooked,” agrees Jonker. “We really don’t need any help until we both work.” He will start looking for a job from next year, but is now in a process to fix his teeth. A client manager had been guiding him on behalf of the municipality in the field of work and health for more than ten years.
The family has one bicycle, they cannot afford public transport and they have to sell the car. Willem cannot cycle long distances because of his bad lungs and their daughter has actually outgrown her child’s bicycle. A larger children’s bike and a cargo bike would be a godsend. Akkerman: “We love nature, so we can go to the meadows, the beach or ‘t Twiske together. We have to say no to our daughter so often: we once skipped Christmas, Sinterklaas, her birthday. It would be nice if we could at least get away for days.”
Send your response, including telephone number, to [email protected]. More info: amsterdammerhelptamsterdammer.nl.
molar pregnancy
A molar pregnancy is a form of gynecological cancer in which something goes wrong with fertilization and cell division. The placenta – which is made up of trophoblastic cells – grows very quickly, but no embryo is created, or only an embryo that is not viable. The growth of trophoblast cells in the uterine cavity and the accumulation of fluid cause numerous vesicles to form, which together form a growth that resembles a bunch of grapes. This can often be seen on the first ultrasound; then it turns out that it is not about an ordinary pregnancy. Most often, a doctor can (largely) remove the tumor; if the blisters grow back, chemotherapy may be necessary, but the chance of a cure is very high. The disease is rare: one in a thousand pregnancies is a molar pregnancy.
Last week’s wish
Last week, the Team van der Pek asked for donations for a Sinterklaas campaign for children near. That worked: Parool readers donated 5000 euros, and even more for other Sinterklaas actions in the city.
The five ladies of the ‘Team van der Pek’ are measured health ambassadors: they organized a weekly craft and cooking afternoon for children from the Van der Pekbuurt in Noord, with a focus on sustainable and healthy food. Last year, the women were also forced to take care of Sinterklaas. “Due to corona, many parents lost their jobs or were struggling with less income due to illness,” says Amarfi Acosta Sanchez. “They couldn’t buy presents for their children.”
This year, the team will make at least one hundred and fifty children happy with healthy snacks, games, presents and a real Sint and Piet in a decorated community center. But they don’t have deep pockets themselves. The community center thrives on municipal support, which falls far short of covering the gifts for children. That is why they ask for donations, ‘so that something beautiful does not go to waste’.
Thanks to large and small donations, 5000 euros will go to the Sinterklaas campaign. “Really unexpected,” says Acosta. “We can make at least 150 children happy, maybe even more. For each child we want to buy a gift worth 25 to 30 euros, and certainly food, clothing, and of course ginger nuts and lemonade. I am especially happy for the children.” Even more money was raised. That goes to automatic Sinterklaas actions in the city. “I think that’s great, because children in other parts of the city see the same thing.”