From Iceland — War Of The Nerds: More Like Fortnótt!
In “War Of The Nerds” Column, we usually delve into a sordid tale of drama related to a particular geek community within a country. Theft, tears, copyright infringement – we tackle misunderstanding dweeb problems. This time though, we’re venturing into new territory and just talking about geeks playing war. So join us as we fly on a battle bus with a man named Ninja into the world of plunder and skins – skins that are now found by chance with the Icelandic flag on them.
An army of nine-year-olds
If you don’t know what Fortnite: Battle Royale is, you are clearly old, lame or childless. If you know what Fortnite is but don’t play it, you’re clearly a loser or like Pewdiepie. Basically it’s ‘The Hunger Games’ with more dancing and construction. You drop into a world and have to fight to the death alongside tons of nine-year-olds and antisocial middle-aged men. Between gunshots, you can play music and spend your parents’ money on cool skins (which for plebes means outfits). That’s it.
The only glaring problem with the game so far is that there was no way to express your Icelandic pride. Fortnite Twitch stars around the world lamented this profound difficulty. “Why can my player do the floss dance but not scream ‘FROM ICELAND’?” they cried over their keyboards.
“Why can my player do the floss dance but not shout ‘ÁFRAM ICELAND’?”
Yes, while Fortnite skins range from “The Nutcracker” to Care Bears, there was no Iceland theme. No doubt it was because of racism. That said, the nutcracker costume is bullshit, as the head is so massive you can’t even hide in a bush, and at Grapevine we’re shitting on Fortnite, so hiding in bushes is the only chance we have to win.
THANK YOU FORTNITE
Fortunately, the old gods shined their power down on the game developers, and in honor of the World Cup, you can now get Fortnite skins from Iceland in soccer! This means you can destroy children’s self-esteem while mirroring Aroni Gunnarsson. What a time to be alive, right? HUH!