How to make the most of winter holidays in Lyon?
About a year ago, I moved from Pondicherry, India, to settle with my family in Lyon. We found a nice apartment, although the ceiling is four meters above the ground. In front of this surface to be heated, we took fear for the winter which was announced hard, here, in the Far North. So we asked friends from Lyon to comment on the human being made to survive in these inhospitable latitudes. At first, they didn’t want to confide their secret to us and we assured them to “cover up a lot”. By dint of flattery and glasses of wine, they were finally confessed. “When the temperatures drop, at Christmas or even All Saints’ Day for the most chilly, we go to winter sports to get our bodies used to it”. Ah! Finally ! What a daring strategy! The Lyonnais therefore fight fire with fire. While waiting for global warming to bring French temperatures to the tropical ones we are used to, we have therefore decided to imitate our fellow citizens.
It did not turn out to be an easy task. First we had to find the equipment. We have invested in the warmest protections, applying the jacket lined with dahut hair and the yeti horn mask, admittedly a little more expensive, but warmly recommended by the saleswoman. Boots, pants, gloves and self-heating underwear have reinforced our armor. So we were ready to go through any ice age and hunt the mammoth that the Americans were trying to clone. We marched in front of our friends, praising the merits of our wetsuits. We then told them about the 4-star hotel we were thinking of booking, briefly mentioning the six-generation loan we appreciate taking out to pay for all these expenses. It is with a somewhat distressed air that they decided to help us in our efforts and to accompany us from October. It was too late for clothes, but together we searched for family-friendly accommodation in the Alps.
For once, finding accommodation has not been an easy task, as our two families are so different. We have a toddler while they have to do with two teenagers. They love skiing, but we go there mainly to confront the terrible forces of nature and then warm up at the spa and play pool. They need raclette, we had never tasted it. Luckily, we managed to find a site bringing together and comparing all the hot accommodations in the area. In two clicks, we were able to see the prices and the activities, filtering from the presence of a paddling pool to the presence of minigolf. Neither one nor two, so we fixed our dates, booked a charming apartment in a giant chalet, and took our packages and our patience until D-Day.
The first day, we had lessons at 2 p.m. with an instructor, who had the good idea to put on a red jumpsuit to stand out from the crowd that descended on the slopes. We learned the snow plow, then followed it like a wobbly caterpillar, before they all fell like dominoes. As if the humiliation wasn’t total, purists insulted us from the nearest buttocks. Tire-buttock that we took after many falls. Skis off the ground, we thought we were safe… What a mistake! Gravity is a deceitful demon, and has been pounding our delicate glutes to exhaustion. After two hours of intense zig zags, interspersed with clashes with the other practitioners and their derogatory remarks, we returned. What a pleasure to recharge your batteries at the spa! Unfortunately, when we left at 8 p.m., our much more experienced friends were already asleep… We were looking forward to the karaoke evening, however… At which we couldn’t even sing because of our chapped lips.
We almost gave up, but we held on. From wild raclette to waking up at dawn, our bodies have hardened. You see in movies and manga, when the heroes train for two minutes with epic music and a stereotypical montage? That’s a good summary of our week. Tough, yes, but what a pleasure to be able to end the week off-piste and to be able to yell at a snowboard beginner: “Don’t scrape the piste, the snow groomer has already passed! “. A week so memorable that it broke our hearts to return the keys to our accommodation and to leave in the heat of Lyon.
Kavi