Austria: The Krankl, Rammstein and the Gänsehäufel-Bad – Politics
Recently, on the beach towel next to me, the man from Leopoldstadt on the banks of the Old Danube complained that he simply couldn’t bear this hostility towards Austria any longer. “What hostility towards Austria?” I asked him. “Well, don’t you see how constantly you make fun of us? It doesn’t matter whether the power goes out in Innsbruck, whether Nehammer has something important to discuss with Orbán, or whether you, as a tourist, have to leave our trains because you haven’t made a reservation yet again, you’re always upset.” “Not me,” I said I replied: “I think Austria is great.” Next to us, a woman was explaining to her friend that the candidate from the Bier Party was the best candidate for the Austrian presidential elections in early October. Well, I didn’t want to start with this topic now. The Leopoldstadter was already in a rage anyway. If I’m not careful, I thought to myself, I might soon be thrown off the train. Or out of the Gänsehäufel swimming pool.
“These reports, too, that Lake Neusiedl is said to be drying up,” the man from Leopoldstadt continued to scold. “That’s not true. The Rhine is drying up, yes, that’s true. But not Lake Neusiedl!” “Oh,” I said. But just because I didn’t want the Leopoldstadter to get upset any more. I like him very much. “Now you even have this well-deserved Austrian organizer, so to speak Rammstein-Concert on Munich’s Theresienwiese canceled. That would have been a world event!” “Oh, that’s okay with Rammstein,” I simply countered. “They should make noise somewhere else. How about the Ernst Happel Stadium?” But suddenly a mature, wiry man jogged past us. “Was that Jagger?” the Leopoldstadt resident asked, because he had read about Mick Jagger at a Viennese nightclub Würstbude was seen, he is constantly afraid to see him.
Hans Krankl is a real icon in Austria
“Speaking of sport,” I said, “is your former national football coach released again?” “Geeeeeeh!” the man from Leopoldstadt shouted. “Have you heard about Hans Krankl?” “Of course,” I said, “he hit the police with his alleged SUV at the VIP parking lot at Paschinger Stadium, and now an investigation is underway.” “That was just a light physical contact, German!” the Leopoldstadt resident then explained to me. “And besides: Krankl is not only a gifted TV commentator, but also a real icon in Austria. We don’t let anything come to our Krankl!”
And then the man from Leopoldstadt and I looked at the Old Danube again and were really happy about every fish we saw there. “Now that winter is coming soon,” said the man from Leopoldstadt, “but we should stick together, don’t you think?” “Of course we should,” I replied. “You’ll give us a little gas and we’ll send you fewer trucks through Tyrol. Promise?” “I promise,” the man from Leopoldstadt replied. And then we went to the beach café for a beer.
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