Hanna Marcussen became pregnant with the help of surrogacy
Surrogate
Hanna became a mother alone
For many years, Hanna had dreamed of finding “the right one” and creating a nuclear family. When she turned 40, she decided to take matters into her own hands.
Ever since Hanna Marcussen (44) was a little girl, she has dreamed of becoming a mother. A dream of finding love and creating a life with “the right one”. A dream that turned out to be difficult to bustle.
Hanna is the city council leader in Oslo for the Green Party. Well, she wants to share her story to contribute to openness and knowledge around alternative family forms.
Even describe their childhood as nice and loving. She grew up on Sandøya, a small island in Tvedestrand in Sørlandet.
Her father died of cancer when she was eleven years old, but she has always had her mother Anna (77), sister Ingeborg (48) and brother Peter Daniel (46) by her side. They are still her strong supporters.
Hanna’s mother had passed 30 years when she got her. Hanna has always thought that «I can wait to have a child until I have turned 30». But then came the 30s, and Hanna was single. As a politician, she worked a lot. She prioritizes education and career to find the right men.
– I thought that «suddenly he shows up», instead of thinking that now I have to look and meet many, says the MDG politician.
Little did Hanna know that it would be difficult to find a man she wanted to start a family with.
When she turned 38, Hanna felt a stronger pressure around having children.
“The biological clock is ticking. I can not find the right man to start a family with until it is too late “, she thought.
Then she said to herself: “If I do not find the right man before I am 40 years old, I will go to the Stork in Copenhagen.”
Test tubes – IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a treatment in which one or more eggs are retrieved from a woman’s ovaries, which are then fertilized by the man’s sperm in a test tube.
The fertilized egg is then inserted into the woman’s uterus so that the egg can attach to the lining of the uterus. The further development takes place as with a normal fertilization.
Source: Klinikkspiren.no
Dating, which was supposed to be fun and exciting, became stressful and demanding for Hanna. It became like a mission to find the father of her future child.
The desire and longing for a child was so great. A boyfriend relationship without
having children was a bit interesting, says Hanna.
Great loss
We go back to 2018: Hanna was now 40 years old and still single. She had heard about the Storken clinic in Copenhagen, which has helped many women have children. She thought this was her way of making her wish come true.
She shared the thought with her immediate family. Even though she was going to be alone with children, it was important for her to know that she was not alone as a family.
– I talked thoroughly with all three to make sure I supported myself so that I did not sit with everything alone. They have been positive and supportive all the way, Hanna says.
Also read (+): When Hannah and Jesper failed to have a child, friends came up with an incredible proposal.
A heavy process
Sperm donation in Norway
A man who registers as a donor must undergo examinations to be approved. If he is approved, he must sign a form in which he agrees to give women as per. today has the right to receive treatment in Norway, and that it can be a child in up to 6 families.
Children can learn the identity of donors when they turn 15 years old. Donor has no obligations. In Denmark, you can choose between open and closed donor. If you choose a closed donor, you will not receive information about the sperm donor.
The woman who wants treatment with donors must undergo an examination, and the doctor must refer to the hospital. The person referred must attach a police certificate and self-declaration form. If it is determined that the woman should have insemination, she must use medication to stimulate ovulation. In insemination, the semen is prepared and then inserted into the woman’s uterus with a thin catheter.
The woman receives no information about the donor. In Denmark, you have the opportunity to choose whether you want information or not.
Per treatment it is approx. 15% chance of getting pregnant with insemination. This is individual and depends on, for example, the woman’s age and diagnosis.
Source: Gunhild Bøyum, section leader, Department of Reproductive Medicine, Oslo University Hospital.
Hanna started the process in Denmark when she was 40 years old. After one trial of sperm insemination and five trials of samples (IVF), she had reached the age of 42.
Hanna describes the two years of testing as an emotional roller coaster. She cried and felt unsuccessful and scared. ‘Maybe it’s too sent. Maybe it does not work. Maybe I will not get the opportunity to become a mother “, she thought. It was a great sorrow, and a great longing.
– You feel a little unsuccessful because it’s easy to think that you as a woman should make it happen. And if you do not do it, it is you that is something wrong, says Hanna.
When she finally saw the positive pregnancy test, she was shocked.
Finally she was pregnant!
When she was on her first ultrasound in pregnancy week 13, she dared to let go of all the cheers. “It simply came to our notice then. I’m going to be a mom. I’ll finally have a baby, ‘Hanna thought excitedly.
A new main character in life
June 13, 2020: – When we were on our way up to Rikshospitalet, my sister saw: “When you go home from here, it’s not just you anymore”. I could hardly believe it, says Hanna.
On a sunny summer day, little Mogens was born. The name Mogens is Danish. He was named after the family of Hanna’s mother, who is from Denmark. And as a thank you to Denmark for making her dream come true.
When he was laid on Hanna’s chest, it was as if a large, pink bubble of happiness was around them.
– It was a completely unreal feeling. Suddenly he was lying there. One forgets all of the pain and grievances. The only thing that matters is the tiny little creature that lies on the chest, she says.
‘Shall I take this little nurket home with me alone? Is it safe to let me take him home? ” thought the newly-baked mum.
– I was unsure if I knew what I needed to be on my son. I felt very vulnerable. At the same time, my son was the only one who mattered. I am so lucky to be allowed to love someone so highly. I am lucky to be allowed to be Mogens’ mother, Hanna says proudly.
Hanna had long had a job that was characterized by my responsibility and being a leader. Much of it has dedicated life to becoming so little compared to being a mom. Now Hanna was no longer the main character in her life. It was little Mogens.
Also read: – I get so much “well-meaning advice” that I go crazy! If something works for your child, it may not work for mine!
Single mother: – A loss I did not expect
Hanna describes the time in maternity leave as both tough and beautiful. She is grateful that she has her family to rely on.
She was long prepared for the fact that she would be the only parent of Mogens, and that it would be tough. She lost much of her free time.
– I can not just go out one evening with friends, because I have a partner who can take care of Mogens. The most important and biggest difference is that I can not have the same social life as before, says Hanna and continues:
– Everything must be adapted so that Mogens can participate in it. Little things, like forgetting to buy milk in the store, how much longer. Then I have to dress Mogens and take him with me, Hanna says.
Being a single mom has not been a dance on roses. Sometimes she knows a partner in need.
– It is difficult not to have a partner when there is small progress with Mogens that you want to share. Such as «now he laughed for the first time. Now he almost says his first word ». I did not realize how important it is to share it with anyone. It’s a miss, Hanna shares candidly.
Transparency
“I had a great desire for a child. I did not have a boyfriend, so I went to a clinic in Copenhagen for help. There was a kind man who gave me some daddy seeds that made me able to have you », is one of the stories Hanna tells Mogens.
– He does not understand everything I say. But I have started telling little stories about how he arises in a simple way. I want to be open and honest. I want this to be an approved family form, says Hanna.
On 1 June 2020, a change in the law came into force in Norway, which means that single parents can have a child with the help of assisted reproduction. When Hanna heard that the majority voted for this, she began to cry.
– I was already pregnant with Mogens. But it was nice that it became legal in Norway before he came into the world. He grows up with a recognition that this is a type of family that we accept in Norway.
Hanna has chosen to use an open sperm donor. Then Mogens can contact the sperm donor when he turns 18, if he so wishes. But that’s one thing she thinks is important to note.
– Even if you can know who the person is, it is important to know that it is not a dad who is waiting. It is a sperm donor who has given his semen. It is important in relation to expectations of the child. What is the family of my child is my family, says Hanna.
This case was first published 07/02 2022, and last updated 08/02 2022