the lifelong struggle of a teetotal alcoholic
Christophe, a resident of Toulouse and a member of the Association of Alcoholics Anonymous, has been fighting against his alcohol addiction for 25 years. Now abstinent, this 63-year-old retiree had to go through several ordeals before he stopped drinking.
“It was sunny, I was drinking. It was raining, I was drinking. All pretexts were good for drinking. Today, all excuses are good not to drink,” laughs Christophe. This retired construction worker and father of two is a abstinent alcoholic. 63-year-old quit drinking 25 years ago. “I never imagined it would come to this”, confides the Toulousain.
For nearly six years, he drank every day. “I started my day at 3 grams and ended it at 6 grams. I drank at least two bottles of whiskey a day,” says Christophe. If today he managed to get out of it, the father of the family had to overcome several trials before achieving it.
He stops drinking for the first time
He actually decides for the first time to stop drinking, without success. “My company at the time told me to choose between her and alcohol. So I stopped drinking,” says the retiree. Corn he dives back three months later for “one of the most banal pretexts”. “I used to bring an ice cream to work, except that day, she had taken it. I refused because she had upset me,” explains Christophe.
He then drinks a bottle of whisky. “I said to myself ‘just a drink’. I finally left a drink in the bottle, ”recalls the Toulousain. It is a rather mystical event that will finally decide him to stop drinking.
“I saw a white light”
“One morning, I said to myself that I was not going to drink today. So I went to work, sober. But at noon, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to have my life-saving bottle,” emphasizes Christophe. He will then buy a bottle of alcohol and go back to work.
“I spent the whole afternoon going back and forth between the construction site and my vehicle to drink. In the evening, I returned to my brother by car. Arrived in his yard, my head fell on the steering wheel. When I picked it up, I saw a white light. What was that ? I do not know. But the next day, I made the decision to do something for myself,” he says. Retirement then enters a cure for three weeks, then joins Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
A reluctance to say he is an alcoholic
“I heard about the association from my ex-wife. She told me that alcoholism was a disease and that there were solutions. The hardest part was pushing the door of Alcoholics Anonymous. I also arrived late for the first meeting, ”jokes the Toulousain.
If he realized his addiction to alcohol, Christophe was however reluctant to say that he is an alcoholic when he joined AA. “I said that I was bulimic of alcohol. But when I celebrated my first year of sobriety, an elder of Alcoholics Anonymous said to me, “Bulimia is one disease and alcoholism is another.” , I say that I am an alcoholic,” reports Sincee the pensioner.
A separation marks the beginning of his addiction
As he came out of it, alcohol also entered Christophe’s life step by step. His separation from his ex-wife marked the start of his addiction. “I separated from her to have some freedom, but I chained myself to alcohol”, he laments before adding: “I started drinking a bottle of rosé on Wednesday evening and to have an aperitif from Friday to Sunday. Then, I drank from Wednesday to Friday and from Sunday to Wednesday. Eventually, I drank every day. »
However, his family does not notice his alcoholism. “She veiled her face. My family didn’t want to see the problem, ”says the pensioner who hides to drink. “I was drinking at home and in my car. The latter had become my traveling bar, ”he says.
“Filling a void and escaping the reality of life”
If Christophe drank, it was “to fill a void and escape the reality of life”. “I was neither more nor less than a big anxious. I did not have the keys to live my life so I fled it through alcohol, ”said the retiree. Since he stopped drinking, Christophe took control of his life.
“The worst day today is much better than one of the best days before. I managed to rebuild my life. Admittedly, I still had a car, an apartment and a job when I was drinking. But my life was a disaster, ”said the father of the family. He also sorted through his friends. “I don’t hang out with the same people anymore. Bar talks don’t interest me anymore,” he says.
The path to redemption
His relationship to himself has also changed. “For me, I was insignificant. I do not exist. Now I am kind to myself and others,” he smiles. Christophe has also apologized to his relatives, including his company at the time. “I saw her again two years after I joined Alcoholics Anonymous. I made amends and she was delighted. Because as a perfect alcoholic, I told her she was the bad guy in the story, ”he confesses.
The Toulousain also strives to help other people with a problem with alcohol through AA. “The basis of the association is the transmission and support of alcoholics. At any time of the day or night, they can find a listening ear and a solution to the problem. Because talking about it often soothes the urge to drink,” it turned out.
Alcoholics Anonymous is “a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other for the purpose of solving their common problem and helping other alcoholics to recover. The desire to stop drinking is the only requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous. In Toulouse, there are four discussion groups which organize meetings on Sundays, Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays. Videoconference meetings are also offered on Mondays. The addresses of the groups are to be found on the Alcoholics Anonymous website.