Charlene’s family grand-replaces the Grimaldis in Monaco; Harry & Meghan’s ’employers’ fear they’ve been cheated; Ivanka Trump is nip-tuckized, Loana is (trash) pin-up Valérie Trierweiler is tele-realized, Brooklyn Beckam is carbonized
They lie to us, they tell us nonsense! This week, the planet People is populated by fabricators.
Public separates Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Canet. The bomb is dropped in One. After 15 years of romance, two children, and a move out of Paris last year which was supposed to fix everything, the actress has decided to throw in the towel. The reasons remain unclear, the magazine mainly evokes paths that separate (reline) nt, life would take the interpreter of Edith Piaf to the other side of the Atlantic, to the sunshines of Hollywood, when the director would stay stuck in his introspection, focused on his Mister Hyde. “I have a double that I call My Asshole who makes me an asshole in my everyday life with those around me and my family. Said like that, it’s sure, it doesn’t really make you want to stay.
The Great Replacement in Monaco: in the absence of Charlène, her family unites, goes up to the front, even if it means doing a little too much. Gala does not hesitate to call the Wittstocks “The other ruling family”. Unknown to the elite 10 years ago, without a particle or a title, the father, mother, brothers and sisters-in-law take the media by storm in the name of the Princess. It is to Chantelle, the wife of the youngest Sean, that we owe the news during the convalescence in South Africa. Then to Michael, the father, who we owe to having maintained the flame, when everyone saw his daughter’s wedding in the cabbage: “I know that she is tough on evil and that she will come back much stronger”. Gala even sees it as a subtle tackle to Nicole Coste, the mother of Albert II’s eldest son, who would have seen herself put on the glass slipper that remained vacant this year. Gareth, especially, the youngest, has managed to make himself indispensable lately. He has lived in Monaco since his sister’s wedding, runs the Princess Charlene Foundation, accompanied the sovereign to the Christmas market, is part of the delegation on his official trips… He already has short hair… And if he is the Princess again?
Loana, assaulted at the wheel of her car at the start of the week, and at the end, dropped trash version live. While she and her best friend, French Elvis Presley lookalike Eryl Prayer, were stuck in traffic, another driver tried to break into the cabin to sit down some punches. We will not know for the moment what provoked this rage, but the attacked filed a complaint. Loana is fine, she wanted to tell her fans herself, via the networks of course. The opportunity was too good to take a little detour through his Insta account… And there, it stings the eyes… We can even have dinner, not everything looks great. The messages with a tired flow follow one another and her last post clearly went too far, the starlet has since removed it. It was a photo session organized in a hotel… Between lascivious poses and multiple glasses of champagne, the slippage was predictable. Hugging a tree, Loana evokes a big b…, “it’s the biggest of my life that one”, then throwing herself on a bed “I put myself on four noodles and it’s gone”… The backlash aggression, surely…
Brad Pitt stuck in a construction scam. Remember, as a good Robin Hood service, the actor had offered his help to rebuild New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. He had raised nearly 40 million euros to set up ecological houses, designed by prestigious architects. Problem: 15 years after construction, the shacks are in ruins and poor workmanship is piling up. Some had no drips, on others the paint was not waterproof. The insulation sometimes worked too well, making the moisture impossible to dislodge. The termites and cockroaches settled by the thousands in these havens of toxic molds are even the cause of the death of a resident. Did Angelina Jolie’s ex know? Was he aware of the contractor’s incompetence? Does he know where the rest of the loot went (more than 25 million) which was not invested on the spot? The answer will be given by a judge!
” I am asking you to stop ! “. No, it’s not Edouard Balladur this time, but Kim Kardashian, in person, who has thus asked her ex to stop any bashing of her boyfriend Pete Davidson. It must be said that this week, cyber-harassment has gone up a notch. Kanye West unearthed old videos, photos of the guy in his underpants, he nicknamed him “Skete” – Skeleton (because he’s white?), calls him a b…, a b…, “Someone one is going to attack Pete, and it will be your fault only, ”sent the influencer by text message, a conversation that the billionaire rapper hastened to make public on Instagram. And his Pile side is not to be outdone either: still convinced that he will convince his wife to come back, he had a pick-up truck full of roses delivered to her for Valentine’s Day. On the side, one could read: “My vision is Krystal Klear”, “I see particularly clearly”, a pun with big clogs around the double K, initials of Madame. If you look closely, the black car, tinted windows, with the rear open, covered with flowers, it looks a bit like a hearse too.
Brooklyn Beckham takes a sheet on the internet. After trying his hand at photography, David and Victoria’s 22-year-old son now dreams of being a cathodic cook. With his means, he launched himself illico, online, on an Instagram account where he has no less than 1.3 million subscribers. And there is the tragedy: the show costs an arm to produce and the “Brooklyn chef” is a crook! He absolutely does not know how to cook. It needs a cheat sheet to use the right terms, like “whipping” or even “boiling.” In Here, a witness balances “he does not know how to comment on the fried fish, and he needs his assistants to know when the potatoes are cooked”. You will note “his assistants”, in the plural, therefore. A team of 60 people is mobilized to make pasta and burgers… All for a small fadette of 85,000 euros per episode… The little one does not know how to cook an egg, but how to cook an oven, yes!
Ivanka Trump, idle, gets bored… in Florida. She knew the boiling of the White House, the feverish meetings, the political secrets, the power couple with her husband Jared Kushner. And today ? She was never able to relocate to New York after her father’s presidency. The local high society had done a good job of making it known that the “Javankas” were no longer welcome. “Many will boycott them socially”, “They will be taken off the invitation lists”, “There will still be private dinners supposed to be able to attend, but they will be the entertainment”, these are some of the pleasantries heard in the Big Apple. Even the children were no longer well regarded in their school. Suddenly, Miss Trump wanders in her neighborhood of Miami, walking her dog, between two reading sessions on her balcony and stretching on the beach. Her neighbor admires her multiple cosmetic surgeries and sums up well what the former “venomous beast” of the Democrats inspires from now on: “she has the charisma of a barbie”.
Harry and Meghan, Bonnie and Clyde, 3.0? Two magazines asked themselves this question in front page this week, Point de Vue and Gala. Are they professional scammers? On the one hand, they raise millions, spread the good word, committed to demagogue causes, on the other, they open a “mini empire in a tax haven” – 11 companies in a state in the depths of the United States on an advantageous diet and not even honoring their contracts… Will they have to return the money from the fabulous contracts signed with Netflix and Spotify? It’s no longer a secret, the Sussexes haven’t done anything for months except tearing up on TV sets. The platforms are panicking and trying to find solutions to cover their costs. The idea, now, is to set up dedicated teams, professionals to do the work for them, or even do all the work at their places. The golden eggs were fake!
Will Valérie Trierweiler be the new Nabilla? The former ephemeral First Lady launches into reality TV and participates in Beijing Express Version Celebrities. Hitchhiking, sleeping with the locals: the goal of the game is to make a successful trip abroad, with an ultra-limited budget, and beat the 5 other participating teams to the post. Filming has started in Sri Lanka and François Hollande’s ex has chosen her best friend as a partner. A nice price for the program broadcast on M6 which offered to reward its star properly: 50,000 euros for 12 days of filming, it is between 10 and 20,000 more than its little playmates.
And to finish, a herbal tea, a coffee, a small plum? Prince Andrew has reached a financial agreement with his accuser: 14 million euros for Virginia Giuffre plus 2 million to be paid directly to his association for the defense of victims of sexual abuse. The invoice will be sent to the Queen… Jenifer has been a Chevalier des Arts et des Lettres since Valentine’s Day. Marc Lavoine’s wife, Line Papin says she recently lost 3 unborn children; these hardships got the better of her couple. TV columnist Hugo Manos confirms his relationship with Laurent Ruquier: they have been together for 4 years, even living together.