Trans*Identity: Trans*women are not jealous of cis*women
About problematic prejudices against trans people and when people are not seen in their authenticity. A counter-comment on Mrs. Elfriede Hammerl’s column on profil.at
Trans* means that a person cannot identify with their birth sex, but with the opposite sex. Some people also feel between the sexes. People classified as trans* who are transident, transgender, transsexual, gender fluid, non-binary, diverse, polygender, gender-queer, agender and many more. Only a few per thousand of the total population are trans*.
Cis are all those people who can identify with their birth gender, i.e. almost everyone.
In recent months, I have repeatedly read the prejudice in the public media debate that trans* women are angry with cis women, for example by Elfriede Hammerl:
“Who is a woman – competition in high heels for the goodwill of the patriarchs.” (Profile, column from 08/06/2022)
Ms. Hammerl is an Austrian writer and journalist, co-initiated the Austrian women’s referendum, campaigned strongly for women’s rights, ran for the Liberal Forum and was honored for her creativity and her life’s work.
However, I miss sensitivity in Ms. Hammerl’s column, herbs she seems to downright zero in on trans* women. Ms. Hammerl also appropriates the feelings of trans* women and accuses them of being angry at cis women. For this reason, as a psychotherapist of existential analysis who works with trans* people and accompanies them on their process of self-discovery, I would like to make a counter-statement here.
Healthy outrage and anger
Most trans women I know feel anger, rage and outrage when they are not seen and taken seriously as they authentically feel, which is as women. This is a completely justified, healthy anger, because feelings, alluding to Erich Fried, are not and do not lie. However, this reactive anger has nothing to do with anger, envy, or resentment toward cis women. Aggression is a healthy emotion that (trans*) people need to protect, defend and fight back.
In addition, Ms. Hammerl presents herself as a potential victim when she postulates:
“The real adversary for trans women activists, it seems, are the organic women who precede them in the bodies they desire. I’ll definitely get a thrashing for that crude conclusion.”
minority stress and violence
In fact, there are trans*women and LGBTIQA* who suffer from minority stress or are even extremely traumatized due to psychological violence, trans*negativity etc. and become violent themselves or pass on their own ideas. Such acts of violence as they had to experience, for example, JK Rowling, who received death threats after trans*critical, biologistic comments and whose books were burned, I condemn to the extreme and I have already heavily criticized the fronts in another article.
Here the victims themselves become perpetrators or even worse than them.
The causes of this traumatization almost always lie in patriarchy and in heterosexism, in the rigid matrix of gender binary, from which all women suffer, but also we emancipated men.
Resilience of trans people
However, as a psychotherapist, I myself have experienced that most trans* women are mentally very healthy, stable and full of joie de vivre and, despite trans*phobia, infinite suffering and discrimination, stand by themselves and trust their authentic feelings, namely that they are women are. Being a woman radiates from within and has nothing to do with high heels and long fingernails. It is the truthful, personal, real, authentic, healthy and essential in people that comes out here despite all external difficulties, harassment and trans*phobic experiences of violence and wants to show itself. I often feel in the first meeting, in the first few seconds of greeting, that a woman with great, authentic femininity is sitting across from me, even if the trans* woman concerned comes to me in the social role of a man and a man “plays” because she has to do it every day in everyday life.
I also wonder where all the trans women are supposed to be who present themselves as sex objects? All of the trans* women I know are dressed very subtly, tastefully and modestly.
Incidentally, I even encourage my trans*feminine clients* in the therapeutic process to wear the much-maligned accessories such as high heels, long artificial fingernails, pantyhose, etc. at home or in a safe place where there is no threat of discrimination (e.g. in my practice). to experiment and wear them. It’s about trying things out, but also about joie de vivre, expression, the playful (because it’s already difficult enough for trans* people) and creativity, about feeling which styles of clothing and accessories I feel comfortable with, which for agree with me and which do not. If a (trans*) woman feels real, self-determined and authentic with pumps, high heels and artificial eyelashes, then she would be failing herself not to wear these accessories and it would be ideological and therefore abusive for her to wear her pumps, eyebrows or artificial fingernails to talk
The real in people
At this point I would like to emphasize that I consider it a great strength and resource when trans* people find and stand by their trans* identity despite severe traumatization, stigmatization and discrimination. Anyone who can do this must have amazing inner power sources and abilities. The insinuation of the hype and the discussion about the delusion of feasibility are also striking and overlook the fact that there are many trans* people who strive for little or no gender reassignment, body modification measures. In addition, reconciliation with the sex at birth is never possible, otherwise it would not be trans*identity.
It’s not about ideologies either, because trans* people are not trans* because of ideologies or aspire to surgery, but purely because of what a trans* person senses and feels in their deepest core. If hormonal measures and surgical adjustments feel right and real, then they are justified and relieve a lot of pressure, hardship and suffering. The adaptation then becomes an expression of loving, healthy and caring treatment of oneself. In this case, as a trans* woman, I owe it to myself to have body modification measures done and at the end of my life I could regret and regret not having done this to have.
Immeasurable suffering
Ms. Hammerl has no sense of the often immeasurable suffering and the inner need that trans* people feel in our still very patriarchal society. Trans people have it much harder than me. As a cis man, I can only appreciate this inner pain, because this suffering, this hardship, but also to endure a not so good passing takes a lot of strength and life energy.
Hats off to all trans* people who have the strength and resilience and the courage to embark on the long, hard and rocky path of transition, to take seriously their own being and to live their authenticity. It is not easy for them, especially when there is such a lack of solidarity.
Author: Florian Friedrich
psychotherapist
(Logotherapy and Existential Analysis)