A mother from Hanover is fighting the disease
Hanover. There is a large Christmas pyramid in the kitchen. An heirloom from her grandparents. And in the living room there are two small plastic Christmas trees. She used to not decorate her apartment in such a Christmassy way, but her three-year-old son now wanted it that way. “Kilian is a real bundle of energy, he keeps me on my toes,” says Mila Ehlers (name changed) with a laugh. “And he brought me Christmas back.”
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The single mother lives in a simple apartment building somewhere in the Hanover area. She comes from a long-established family in the area. “I grew up here and have practically never left the village,” she says. She doesn’t say it regretfully, but rather with pride in her roots. It’s also an advantage if the neighbors know how you’re doing. If you can help. “I was given the wardrobe and the sofa,” says the 31-year-old and laughs again.
Diagnosis: Crohn’s disease
In general, she laughs a lot. A young, fun-loving person who talks vividly and is constantly on the move. You believe every minute, as you can see, that the agile woman with the long, blond hair is. On the other hand, you don’t immediately notice that she’s fighting a permanent battle, that she has to do everything in her power not to let things get her down. In the process, her life WILL be overshadowed by a treacherous, debilitating illness.
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A woman full of life: Mila Ehlers – here in her son’s nursery – does not want to be worn down by the illness.
© Source: Katrin Kutter
After graduating from secondary school, Mila Ehlers began an apprenticeship. The hands-on woman became a butcher shop salesman, she quickly became a famous manager of a branch and even had the prospect of a position as branch manager.
However, before her final exams, she fell ill. She was constantly sick, she had stomach pains, things went downhill rapidly. “Within a few weeks I lost weight from 79 to 55 kilos,” she says. “I still managed the exams, but with bad grades – before that I had only had ones.”
Subsequently, she is hospitalized, and after some time she is diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, a chronic inflammatory disease in the gastrointestinal tract. Since then, they have repeatedly suffered from fever, dizziness and cramps. Nausea and vomiting are part of their everyday life, as is an unpredictable alternation of diarrhea and constipation.
Constant fear of eating
When she is in a better phase, she becomes pregnant. But already during pregnancy she loses weight dramatically. After Kilian was born, her health deteriorated rapidly. “I was afraid to eat something because I knew it wouldn’t stay in there anyway,” she says. “I only moved with the bucket in my hand.”
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A fight against the disease: Mila Ehlers in her son’s nursery.
© Source: Katrin Kutter
She feels weak, surprised by her loss of appetite, and has to vomit again and again. Again she is in the hospital for weeks, Kilian has to be looked after by someone else. “He had to do without me for a long time,” says the mother.
For a year and a half she has been on medication other than what she used to have. It’s gotten a little better since then. “But I have to be careful about what I eat all the time,” she says. She immediately gets severe pain from raw tomatoes, and she can hardly tolerate fruit and vegetables. She has since had gallbladder surgery. Two places in her intestines are particularly affected by the disease, and her large intestine is completely scarred, she reports: “The doctor says it could tear.”
She lost her job when she was ill
Her partnership broke up during the illness – and she lost her job too. She was often absent from the shop due to illness. Even the smell of sausage and meat hit her stomach. Your contract has not been renewed. You worked part-time at the supermarket checkout for a while. Then that didn’t work either. She will probably take early retirement at some point.
“My doctor says that if I try too hard, I won’t live to be 50,” says Mila Ehlers. She often did the math: her son would then be 22. Too young to lose his mother. “I would like to be there for him as long as possible,” she emphasizes – and for a moment the otherwise cheerful woman is very serious. On the wall hangs a heart that Kilian cut out in kindergarten: “Happy Mother’s Day” is written on it.
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In addition to health concerns, there are also financial ones. After deducting the rent, she and her son only have a few hundred euros a month to live on. “I usually go shopping on Monday mornings when everything is cheap,” she says. Inflation is giving her a hard time: “We can hardly afford cheese any more, meat is only available once a week.” Kilian usually eats at daycare, but when he’s sick she has to take care of him at home: “Then it will it’s tight.”
Her wish: new glasses
Don’t think about vacation. “My son asks why others always go away and we don’t,” says Mila Ehlers. During her illness she has learned to be satisfied with little. If you ask her what she wants, she says that she needs glasses. Your eyes have dilated – maybe because of all the injections? – so strong that they can hardly read.
“Besides, Kilian needs a new mattress,” she says. She was recently able to get a used cot for 20 euros, but the old mattress is saggy and stained. “My son’s dream would be to get a Carrera track for Christmas,” says the mother. They are the wishes of a young woman who wants to give something to her kind. And die is determined to make the best of every situation.