Cologne: The parents’ phone has been around for 20 years
Cologne –
If you call the parents’ phone, you shouldn’t expect any therapy. The volunteers provide “acute crisis aid” – in Cologne for 20 years – and are therefore in demand in the current crisis. The number of calls rose by a hundred percent in 2020 alone, says volunteer coordinator Hans-Jürgen Dohmen from the Cologne Child Protection Association at the press conference on the anniversary. Half of those seeking advice called for the first time, according to internal statistics from the Germany-wide range.
Like the offer for minors, the parent phone is the “number against grief”, anonymous, free and confidential – and ultimately benefits the children as well. Often overwhelmed parents get in touch, want to talk about conflicts with their adolescents or watch their children suffer from problems with which they cannot help. “Many just need someone who listens to them,” says Lisbeth P., who has been giving advice on the parents’ phone for over eleven years and who wants to protect her anonymity. We can only reveal this much: before her retirement, she was a teacher and social worker.
Let the stress out so that the offspring don’t get it off
Lisbeth P. wants to give the parents courage, especially in the corona pandemic, and recognize their achievements. “You can also say: you are a good mother or a good father.” Because many of them have burned out after the last 1.5 years. She listens to mothers who have not had a minute of free time for themselves since the beginning of the Corona crisis. A desperate father would have started the phone call with the words “I’m not a teacher!” And she knew straight away what it was about: homeschooling. If parents once let their stress and frustration out in the telephone counseling, the offspring will get less from it, hope for the child protectionists.
In around 20 percent of the discussions, problems related to the parents’ divorce are discussed. Often the couples no longer speak to each other, only see each other in court and the child is just one point of contention among many. “You have to help bring the children back into focus,” says Lisbeth P.
Consultants are trained and supported
The Cologne parent telephone is part of a network of currently 37 parent telephone locations in Germany. Whoever calls ends up somewhere and always with a different advisor. Before the assignments, these consultants are prepared for the work for around six months and are also accompanied afterwards with further training and discussions.
Especially when callers report violence or abuse within the family, you feel the need to talk to someone yourself afterwards, says the former elementary school teacher Brigitte D., who has been dying on the parents’ phone in Cologne for 17 years. In such cases, the advisors also look for help and contact points on site for the callers, for example.
On 0800/11 10 550 parents can get advice Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays until 7 p.m.