Vienna, vaccination at the “Palace of Entertainment” brothel, for the lockdown of the unvaccinated
Eight stops by metro and the same number by bus, to arrive, in about thirty minutes, from the Vienna Cathedral to the strangest vaccination site in Europe: the FunPalast, literally Palace of entertainment, one of the best known brothels in town. Austria, since Monday, has declared war on the “pandemic of the unvaccinated” and a semi-lockdown has begun for them: no recreational activities, only work and only after a molecular swab, which certifies the negativity of Covid-19. Here, they already call it “Austrian method”.
“They are fair rules, but strict,” he comments Peter Laskaris, owner of FunPalast, «But the risk for us is to lose customers. So, I decided to make myself useful, transforming part of my restaurant into a pole of vaccinations“. Laskaris, a hat with a visor always worn and sunglasses even in the evening, is a familiar face of the Viennese nights. During the pandemic it lost 50% of its turnover and had to reduce its staff. Today, he wants to go back to normal and leaves nothing to chance.
For those interested in the activities of the brothel, the entrance is under the big sign Sex and relaxation, in the center of the building facade. Those who come for the vaccine, on the other hand, follow the directions of the smaller sign: ImpftPalast (Palazzo delle Vaccinazioni), staircase on the left, Erste stock (First piano).
Arrived up, white arrows, applied on red carpet, mark the path to the vaccination room, here, in front of the patients’ chair, a painting, which portrays a masked woman in style Eyes tightly closed, reads: “Fun is a matter of imagination.” «It’s all studied», Laskaris explains, «by reading this sentence, the patients relax».
And the air you breathe on the first floor of the FunPalast, in fact, it’s about relaxation, if not fun. “It is a brilliant idea to have vaccines in a brothel, a luxury experience »comments Ivan, of Russian origin, vaccinated number 67.
There are many in line, some tourists, a few women, many regulars of the place. Sitting on the armchairs made available by Peter, small fire-red thrones, with a faux gold structure, await their moment sipping the energy drink offered by the girls of the Staff, for the occasion disguised as a nurse.
One of them, Mina, a young woman of Austrian origin, has every air of being the “Head nurseAnd dictates the change of shift between one rhythm and another. With her, or with another of Laskaris’ collaborators, the vaccinated of FunPalast spend an evening for free, which would normally cost 40 euros, accessing all the local services: swimming pools, sauna, casino, cocktail bar and, finally, the beach area, complete with palm trees and fake sand. Women, on the other hand, are entitled to free entry to the fitness area. “That’s how it’s done,” says Erhan, who has been going to the club for years, “I don’t trust the government, but I trust you, Peter! “.
To underestimate the effectiveness of the Austrian Method as a vaccine incentive, one has to wait a little longer. The data, however, are encouraging: on Friday 5 and Monday 9 November, + 18 thousand first doses were registered, numbers that have not been seen since July. As for the Bordello method, or the brothel method, someone will probably study it. One beautiful day, the vaccinated at the Palazzo del Divertimento were 149.
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