Every year, more than 6,000 Lithuanians go through official parental divorce
children. Parental divorce shocks the child
world, violates a sense of security. But with what happens in the family
it is necessary to share it, to help understand why change is taking place and,
that he is not guilty of divorce.
Divorce with a child needs to be talked about
Data from the Department of Statistics, last year with one parent living
6,118 children remained – 4,219 children turned on the bumpy roads
growing couples. A similar number of divorces are registered in the country
for a number of years.
How to tell a child that and so turns in different ways that he
would the car survive this period and feel safe and loved?
Talk to your child about that change
the family is only considered not to rush, but to make a decision to divorce
the child must be notified.
When deciding to part with a long conversation with a child, don’t delay.
Children are very aware of the tensions between adults and understand
to disagree, so, regardless of the child ‘s age, talk about
changes in the family are needed. It’s best when both talk about divorce
stud giving enough time for conversation, mutual disagreements
If conversation is not possible for all family members, due to strong and
exaggerated emotions, then the child should talk to the one who
a familiar stronger who had spoken to the child before.
The child needs to calmly understand that sometimes it happens that
adults begin to disagree and can no longer be together, live together.
Emphasize that you are different from each other, but by no means with
the child. Even if the child doesn’t ask, reassure him or her about the divorce
not guilty. Remember, children tend to think that if they had
better, kinder, older angry, and out of the house
mom or dad would come back.
Children’s emotions are natural experiences
The message of children of different ages about their parents ’decision to live
department adopts sieves and this influences changes in children’s behavior.
Younger children become irritable, weeping, they may experience it
anger attacks. Beginners can often be sad to begin with
want to get sick, they may experience stomach, headaches, nausea,
reluctance to learn, as well as annoyance, anger.
And the baby needs a sound divorce –
say, tell because he wants parental status and experiences
more than it seems to us.
When talking to young children, it is important to make things clear to them
understandable language – that mom and dad will now live separately where they will be
their home, with whom the child will live, when it is possible to meet together
non-living father or mother. Naturally, hearing this fact,
the child may be struck by strong emotions. Such a moment is important for that
next door would be dad and mom who could stay with the angry and
the reaction of an unfortunate child and which can reassure children.
When it comes to adolescents about divorce, an acute reaction is likely –
an avalanche of accusations, swearing, insults. Well received
the whole reaction of a teenager and staying with him this difficult
Tell the teen that he can come to you at any time
testify or talk that it is very important and caring for you.
Sometimes he may need a hug, support, but slipping too much
into the personal space should not. Watch the child and try to be
near when he needs support. The teen can already do their own
solutions – discuss this, but do not hide that in the future
decisions may be reviewed.
Do not lie to the child
It is important for the child to understand to say that both children love him and feelings
will not change even living alone that he did not do and said nothing
one that needs to make parents divorce.
Children tend to blame themselves for parental divorce, making it deep
conversation is very important and necessary for them. Children need to know
that both parents continue to be involved in his life so that they will not change
relationships with grandparents and other close relatives. Only
do not deceive the child by saying that you continue to live temporarily that
dad or mom left for a short time and so on.
Uncertainty in the child sows fear, even the remaining one
the father may also leave and not return, preventing the open
conversation, suppresses the child’s emotions.
The lie will only further divide the family – they have accepted the reality themselves with
introduce her to the child without burdening her with conflicts, grievances, and
Let the children grieve
Children, like adults, suffer more from divorce,
so it is important to let them grieve.
When we see a child crying, longing for the departed father or mother,
it should not be soothed and over-comforted. The child needs an adult
understanding and affirming that his pain, longing is natural
feelings. Any emotion – even the anger shown by the service –
are acceptable and good. It is important for him to see and understand that even as an adult
sad as he. The child needs to experience emotions, but it should not be allowed
manipulate the situation – the child’s responsibilities must remain,
responsibilities, clear boundaries of conduct that create a credible and
The most important need of a child is to have both parents
Difficulties for parents arise not only for them but also for the child, therefore
he needs to be helped to survive this difficult situation, to understand
Divorce severely disturbs a child, shakes his world and
a sense of security is compromised. However, no matter what happened between the parents,
the most important need of the child remains to have both. It’s good that
rejecting all emotions would understand that and parents.
It is important for parents to understand that the child is not guilty
due to the failure of their relationship and cannot become a dispute
Parental divorce for a child of any age is, first and foremost, a loss.
Often, parental divorce for a child means not only family but also
loved ones, friends, home, even school or kindergarten, pet
loss, so spend, understand, listen, and support together
the child is an important and responsible mission of both parents.